We live in an age in which corporations have the power to make and break the careers of whatever clean cut celebrity automaton that they see fit. These icons are packaged, marketed and, with the aid of relentless air time on local top 40 stations, sold to a public clamoring to latch on to the next big thing. In response to current trends, pop stars are branded with an often times ill-fitting image allowing, for example, Lady Gaga to refer to herself as "shock pop" even though the only thing shocking about her music is the possibility that "Just Dance" may be about date rape. While this practice has been commonplace in popular music for ages, it also seems to have infiltrated independent-minded subcultures that have risen in defiance of the mainstream. This phenomenon has particularly been evidenced by the parallel rises to fame of Katy Perry and Zooey Deschanel.
Katy Perry is the perfect example of a well branded popstar. As has been demonstrated by the arrival of Pink and Avril Lavigne in the public consciousness, Top 40 music seems to move in cycles as pop music becomes exhausted with itself and an "alternative" icon or two suddenly become famous. Ironically, these alternative icons never really change the mold of future popstars and are doomed to be sandwiched between the type of cookie cutter divas that alternative icons generally rail against in KISS FM playlists and the CD collections of pre-teen girls.
With mainstream divas like Jessica Simpson having a panic attack and getting fat and Beyonce being replaced by the pseudo-feminist, vomit-inducing alter ego "Sasha Fierce", Katy Perry was suddenly in the perfect situation to grace magazine covers with taglines like "Katy Perry grabs Hollywood By the Balls" or "Katy Perry: The Girl You Don't Bring Home To Meet Your Mother Unless You Want Her To Have An Aneurysm". Katy Perry's "I Kissed A Girl" resonated perfectly with girls determined to get in touch with their bad girl side in order to attract the attention of fraternity meatheads and/or get back at their parents and it also resonated with guys who were all too excited to see girls make out with each other. Ultimately, everyone was happy except for the parents themselves and people with souls who saw Katy Perry's music as setting back both women and the LGBT community at least 20 years.
Zooey Deschanel also has proven to be perfectly marketable, winning the adoration of a sizable target market of hipsters who watch Annie Hall obsessively and harbor the misguided notion that girls do, in fact, pour over their painstakingly crafted mixtapes. 500 Days of Summer, in which Joseph Gordon-Levitt's ceaseless need to be in a committed relationship with Zooey's "I'm so cute and quirky as I shout penis in a public park" character not only cemented Zooey's status as hipster sex symbol, but also signaled a perfectly timed paradigm shift within the indie community. The innocent romantic is now cool again. Going steady is the new drunken hookup. Websites like "Hipster Wife Hunting" show a formerly oversexed and sometimes bicurious subculture ready to become monogamous.
Really, Zooey Deschanel is just a response to former hipster sex symbol Scarlet Johansson, who has fallen out of favor due to her role in movies like The Nanny Diaries, He's Just Not That Into You, and most notably The Island in which Johansson commits the hipster cardinal sin of starring in a Michael Bay movie. In spite of a valiant effort to win back her once adoring fans with a Tom Waits cover album, Johansson was outplayed by Deschanel, whose She & Him record showed she not only has a more commanding voice, but also featured indie-cred builder M. Ward, resulting in the perfect soundtrack for flanneled folk to touch themselves at night. Ultimately, Deschanel's cutesy schmaltz provides the perfect foil to Johnasson's sex pot promiscuity.
Underneath the simultaneous rise of these two celebrities lies something suspicious. The two look like carbon copies of each other. Same pale skin, same heavy bangs, same big doe eyes. Lyrically speaking, Zooey Deschanel sounds an awful lot like Katy Perry imitating Kermit the Frog. Could Katy Perry be to Zooey Deschanel as Garth Brooks is to Chris Gaines? If true, the result could be a modern day Oedipus Rex style tragedy as hipsters nationwide gouge out their eyes upon discovering that the object of their affection is the same sexual object igniting frat parties nationwide. My friends, we may be in the middle of the great hipster swindle.
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